1. Read each of the four sections
2. Select what best describes you
3. Also select what best describes your partner
4. Click on CONTINUE for results

Attachment Styles Cover

You May Be Secure

When you are at ease to depend on others and having them depend on you. You approach connections with a balanced mix of independence and emotional intimacy, valuing both aspects in a harmonious manner.

Your sense of self-worth is comfortable, allowing you to effortlessly give and receive support in relationships. Trust and security are pivotal elements in your interactions, creating an environment where expressing emotions feels natural, and you are attuned to the feelings of those around you.

In the realm of relationships, you actively seek a healthy equilibrium between autonomy and intimacy. While you cherish close connections, there is no inclination to excessively cling to, or distance yourself from your partner. This secure Attachment Style equips you with the confidence and openness to navigate the complexities of relationships.

Your effective communication and empathetic nature contribute to fostering a positive and supportive atmosphere in your relationships. Collaboration is a value you hold dear, viewing relationships as a source of joy and fulfillment rather than a potential wellspring of anxiety or fear.

Overall, your secure Attachment Style lays the foundation for strong and lasting connections. When faced with challenges or joys in relationships, you approach them with a sense of resilience and optimism, embodying the qualities that contribute to the development of enduring and meaningful bonds.


You May Be Anxious-Preoccupied

The Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment Style is characterized by a persistent concern about the availability and responsiveness of others in relationships. You may be Anxious-Preoccupied when you frequently express a deep desire to depend on your partner while simultaneously yearning for reciprocation, which can unfortunately feel elusive.

You frequently find yourself preoccupied with thoughts and concerns about your relationships. This inclination towards anxious preoccupation means that you may be acutely sensitive to signs of rejection or abandonment. Seeking reassurance from others is not uncommon for individuals with this Attachment Style, and the fear of being unloved or overlooked holds a significant place in your emotional landscape.

In social interactions, you tend to be vigilant, carefully monitoring cues that might hint at a shift in the dynamics of your relationships. Ambiguous situations may be interpreted through a negative lens, contributing to your apprehensions. Despite a strong desire for closeness and intimacy, there is an underlying fear of rejection that accompanies these emotions.

It's crucial to recognize that your emotional well-being is intricately tied to the state of your relationships. Uncertainty or perceived distance can trigger feelings of anxiety, impacting your overall mental health and even your ability to focus on other aspects of your life (such as work). The good news is that understanding these patterns is the first step towards positive change.


You May Be Dismissive-Avoidant

When you align with Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment Style you seem to value independence and self-sufficiency, often finding solace in relying on yourself rather than seeking support from others. It's not that you disregard connections, but you tend to play down the significance of emotional intimacy, viewing it as a potential route to vulnerability.

In relationships, you may prioritize personal space and autonomy, occasionally creating distance to shield yourself from potential emotional entanglements. This doesn't imply a lack of desire for connection; rather, you approach it with a sense of detachment, maintaining a certain emotional distance.

Your self-reliance may present challenges in expressing your emotions or understanding the feelings of others. There might be a tendency to minimize or dismiss emotions, both your own and those of people around you, as a way to retain control and avoid vulnerability.

It's noteworthy that while you have developed effective coping mechanisms for dealing with stress and challenges independently, exploring ways to navigate emotional connections and express vulnerability could significantly enhance the richness of your interpersonal experiences. Being open to understanding the depth of emotional connections, both within yourself and with others, can lead to a more fulfilling and connected life.


You May Be Fearful-Avoidant

Resonating strongly with a Fearful-Avoidant Attachment Style means that you grapple with a delicate dance between yearning for emotional closeness and harboring a deep-seated fear of vulnerability and potential heartache.

Your discomfort in relying on others and serving as an 'attachment figure' is coupled with a persistent worry that emotional support might not be readily available when you need it yourself. This ambivalence manifests as a constant push and pull dynamic in your relationships – a magnetic pull toward intimacy, countered by the fear of exposing yourself to emotional pain.

Trust emerges as a challenging terrain for you, likely influenced by early relational traumas that have made it arduous to fully lower your guard. The specter of potential rejection looms large, leading to a heightened sensitivity to emotional risks. This sensitivity might manifest in preemptive measures, such as distancing yourself from others or prematurely ending relationships to shield yourself from potential hurt.

Your journey is marked by a delicate balance between independence and dependence, and fully trusting others proves to be a persistent challenge. Forming and maintaining meaningful connections requires ongoing effort and self-reflection. Recognizing and acknowledging your Fearful-Avoidant Attachment Style is a pivotal step toward fostering self-awareness, navigating healthier relationship patterns, and ultimately cultivating more secure and fulfilling connections with others.

Answer these four questions, based on the descriptions above:

Describes yourself:

This describes my Attachement Style:

Describe your partner:

This describes my Partner's Attachement Style:

© Copyright 2020 Anthony Santen SAC DIP(Adv. Psychotherapy) Counseling Online | Affiliates | All Rights Reserved

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